Becoming a mom is as exciting as it is sometimes terrifying. Especially if it is your first time, there are tons of things you do not really know. No matter how many books you read and how much good advice you get, you still picture things because you simply do not know how it is really going to be. So, we will give you precisely three tips, which our experience has taught us to be the most valuable ones.
Acknowledge individuality & relax
Yes, there are many women that already have kids, one of them being your own mom. And yes, many of them will give you tips and advice on handling things with your baby. You will hear tons of stories about how it was with their own baby, and it worked out best for them. Now, while knowledge is always power and surely knowing things is not wrong, you will quickly realise that all those moms are not telling the same story. While one mom swears on one thing, another mom swears on exactly the opposite, and that can be really confusing, if not even unsettling.
And that is where we want to place our very first tip: Remember and acknowledge that we are all individuals, and nobody is the same. Therefore, your baby may not react the same to that great tip you got from your best friend or mother. Or maybe you yourself will not sense things the way another mom did. What works for them might not work for you and your baby. And that is fine - and most of all, it should not cause you any trouble. Do not compare yourself with others, and the same goes for your baby and the interactions you have.
I remember how everybody had told me that babies sleep best and are safest when they sleep on their back. So, of course, that is what I followed. I placed my firstborn on her back when I put her down to sleep. Little did I know that the young lady was a so-called tummy-sleeper. So it took me three days of pure horror to finally get over the idea I had been given and simply turn her on her tummy. Et voilà, it took her about ten seconds to fall asleep ever since. With my second born one, I then knew that there are several options and tried them out. It turns out he was a back-sleeper, while the third one always felt most comfortable when I helped him turn just a bit to his side by placing a pillow behind his back. And that is just one simple example of how different babies are and how remembering individuality helps you find the best way - for you and your baby.
Find the best way of transportation
Another thing I gradually found out is that ways of transportations are key. And by transportation, I do not mean by car or bus or train. I mean the transportation you provide on a daily very regular basis, depending on how fond your baby is of laying down. Especially in the very beginning.
While nights might still be a bit rough and every minute your baby sleeps or simply “hangs out” in a happy state are worth far more than gold, finding the best way for both of you on how to move is crucial. And this again, can be absolutely different for each baby. My daughter loved being carried around in the baby sling. She enjoyed the warmth and the tightness; it calmed her and made her the most peaceful and laid back baby ever. Thus instead of trying to have her laying in her bed, the baby lounger or anything else, I carried her around for the most time of the day. Of course, that changed when she became bigger and heavier, but it helped me, and she spent a really good time during the first three, four months.
My sons, on the other hand, both did not really appreciate the baby sling. Especially one of them got furious by the tightness and fought like a little baby bear when I tried placing him in it. They both wanted more space, but at the same time, they seemed to feel uncomfortable just laying on a blanket on the ground or similar. What worked best for them - as I luckily found out - was a baby lounger bed. In it, they felt free enough but still hugged by the soft material, whereas the best part was that I could adjust the baby lounger nest and make it looser or tighter. Also, it was perfectly portable thanks to the very practical handles and easily be placed on the couch, the bed or even in the stroller.
Give in to the rhythm
Last but not least, there is one more thing that my experience has taught me: Give into it. A baby will change your life. You will both spend quite some time finding your own rhythm, both of you. And while you might have pictured it differently, the easiest thing - at least at the beginning - is to kind of give into that rhythm and not try to change it too much. Instead of losing my energy by imposing my “plan”, I soon discovered that going with the flow was far less tiring, way more peaceful and, due to that, also far more relaxing for my babies and me. So, I took the freedom during the first months to simply adjust to the rhythm and treat myself and my kids to a lot of fresh air.
And of course, remember what we pointed out at the very beginning: You and your baby are both individuals. So, every single one of the above given tips, might be different for you both. Do not let that unsettle you but instead cherish your individuality and enjoy this exciting new chapter of your life.